Because I love you...

Advent Wreath
Monserrat Retreat Center

“Why do you let us wander, Oh Lord, from your ways?”

“You do not know when the time will come.”

These two phrases mean a lot more to me now than they ever have at any other time in my life. As a child and as a younger man I remember thinking about the idea of being “watchful” during the Advent season. At first, Santa was watching, making his list of good and bad deeds to determine if I would get the presents I really wanted for Christmas. As the years past, I began to focus more and more on Jesus during the Advent season. Jesus was coming. He was going to arrive and either be pleased with me and what I was doing, or he was going to be upset at what I was doing. Several years ago something changed my perspective. Someone close to me experienced a significant death and I remember thinking, "Why Lord? Why does this happen?" Perhaps I could have been asking the same question in the reading from Isaiah today: “Why do you let us wander, Oh Lord, from your ways?”

I will never forget the comfort and profound realization I experienced in my prayer that evening. God’s response to me was: Because I love you.

At first, you would think that this response would have elicited confusion or even anger. You love me and so you allow death? By the grace of God I felt the opposite. A deep realization at why God “let[s] us wander.” Although the readings today are not about death as much as about being ready for the coming of the Lord, they remind me that I am not the creation of a puppet master. My creation and life is an expression of God’s love and my goal in life is then to choose to reciprocate that love.

To me, the readings today remind me of what my free will means. When I ask, “Why do you let [me] wander, Oh Lord, from your ways?” I am met with the response, "because I love you and therefore I can never control you." Love is not control.

The beauty for me at the beginning of Advent is a reminder that love will be what sees me through the preparation for Jesus’ coming. As I realize how much I am loved and cherished by God, I am inspired to act out of that love and return all I can to God. Whereas I used to see these readings somewhat fearfully, afraid that if I messed up I wouldn’t be loved, I have come to realize that there is nothing I can do to lose the love of God; it is however my response to that love that will deem if I am ready to face the God who loves me.

This Advent, I pray that God will continually remind me of why I am so excited for Christmas: That I am going to meet the one who loves me!

Author: Max VonSchlehenried, Science Department