Failing to be Faithful

José y Maria

“Raise your hand if you have ever been unfaithful in your marriage,” asked the teacher at the front of the room.

My wife and I were one of a dozen couples getting trained to help newly engaged couples prepare for marriage. All of us looked around the room, visibly shocked and discomforted by the question. No one dared to raise their hand.

“You are all lying!” exclaimed the teacher through her smile. She then proceeded to remind us how imperfect we are in our marriages, and that we are all unfaithful whenever we fail to live out our marriage vows.

Cue the flashback to July 14, 2012 - “I, Joseph, take you, Elizabeth, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

Cue the montage of all the days that I have failed to love and honor my wife, all the failures of my words, actions, and attitudes, and all the ways that I have been unfaithful to our vows. I immediately raise my hand along with all of the other hands raised high in the room.

A Quiet Moment

When I think of what it means to be faithful to God and faithful to my marriage, I look to Joseph, my patron saint. I see his qualities embodied in the many faithful and righteous men that I have encountered and befriended who model the kind of husband and father that I hope to be. And yet, I know so little about Saint Joseph.

In today’s familiar reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew, we witness Joseph’s unwavering obedience, fidelity, and love for God and for his family. While he is silent throughout the Gospels - he never speaks and is never quoted in scripture! - his humble and quiet devotion to Jesus and Mary speaks volumes and resonates with me.

Faced with a difficult choice, God speaks to Joseph, calms his fears, and makes the path ahead clear to him. Will God do the same for me? Do I let God work in my life or will I continue to get in God’s way? Do I trust that God will speak to me, if I listen? Will I allow God to lead me forward?

Refugees: La Sagrada Familia

In my life and in my marriage, I look to Joseph’s devotion to Mary, his courage to journey into the unknown, and his faith in saying yes to God in the midst of such great uncertainty because of Emmanuel, “God is with us.” No matter the circumstance, no matter the situation, and no matter how much I fail at being faithful, God is with us. In our lives and in our marriages, God will always be faithful to us with plans that are beyond our understanding and imagination.

As we await the birth of Jesus and contemplate the Incarnation - that God took on our human nature, out of love, to restore us to the love of God - may we grow to live each day knowing that God is with us. May we we have a clearer sense of Christ’s presence in our lives as we participate in the ongoing birth of Jesus and welcome Him into our hearts and into our homes.

St. Joseph, Pray for us.

Author: Joe Nava, Math Department