Evolving Faith

In many ways my entire childhood was enveloped in the Catholic Church. I grew up in a small town in Indiana, the kind of small where everyone knows your name and if you attended Mass on Sunday. My mother worked as the youth leader for the church, and I attended the attached elementary school with all of my siblings. That church was very much my second home, and because of that I took my faith, and my Catholicism, for granted. I remember listening to today’s gospel reading as a child, specifically “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.” and taking pride in how accurately that summed up my faith. I felt so connected to God as a child. I prayed with my family every night, attended Mass every Sunday, and of course attended Sunday school- they had the donuts. My faith was a part of who I was, integral with my sense of family and home, and essential to my sense of self. I felt very rooted as a child, and this made it easy to love God wholly.

Then, I grew up. I went away to college, my parents sold our childhood house, packed up, and moved to North Carolina. I felt like my sense of home was suddenly and violently uprooted, and with that my faith began to rot away like a neglected piece of fruit. I felt like I had no roots, and that made me lose my trust in the Catholic home I had taken for granted as a child.

It is much harder to truly love God with all one’s heart, soul, and mind when your heart, soul, and mind are consumed with the daily tasks of life. Because of this, I am attempting this year, and especially this lenten season, to find the nexus between my daily life and God. Committing myself to be a loving teacher, wife, and friend is loving God with my whole heart- because these are all things God has provided me. Dedicating my time, energy, and resources to the tasks I choose to devote my life to is loving God with my whole soul. Continuing to grow as a conscious member of society, seek answers, solutions, and knowledge about our planet and its resources is loving God with my whole mind. 

My relationship with God is more complicated than it was as a child, but it is also more dynamic, and this lenten season I will continue to strive to develop this relationship in a way that is both authentic and honest.

Author: Leanne Applegate, Science Department