Growth Through Gratitude

“I came in the name of my Father,
but you do not accept me;
yet if another comes in his own name,
you will accept him.”


I got an eerie feeling that this part of the Gospel was spoken directly to me. I grew up in a house that was not very religious and I failed to develop a real connection with God through traditional religious means. We prayed but church was optional. There was a spiritual presence for sure but not a religious one. 

On one hand I am very grateful for this approach as I was able to work through my relationship with God on my own. On the other hand, I didn’t have a solid foundation to guide me through developing that relationship. The way God wanted to come to me - I didn’t accept. Instead, I accepted God the way I felt like it. I found other avenues to feel connection with God the way I wanted to. That typically led me to shooting baskets alone or fly fishing, preferably on a river. 

This felt like a very selfish way to connect to God as everything was on my terms. 

Now, however, I am part of a very strong Catholic community in Jesuit. I married an Ursuline grad who is a very devout Catholic. She has taught me about having a religious element in my life and how to connect that with my spiritual feelings. Going to church and organized prayer is a part my life now. At first, it felt very forced, and I didn’t connect at all with the traditions or prayers that appeared memorized to me. 

During prayer, I thought about playing basketball, fishing, or maybe even where we were going to eat after mass (yes I was a grown up at this point). As time went on, however, I slowly began to notice how powerful these prayers were for me. They were memorized, yes, but they had a very deep meaning for a lot of people. These practices showed respect and brought forth gratitude. My wife and many of the people at church weren’t just going through the motions... I was. 

Did I have a relationship with God? Not really because it can’t be considered a relationship if one side is only "take take take". I was always very open to accepting God in the ways I liked but not necessarily in the ways God reached out to me. My wife inadvertently became my shepherd, through her actions and in showing me the importance of respectful and fulfilling prayer and celebration. I have realized that I shouldn't just sit around saying thank you when I got what I wanted. Prayer is more than that. 

I still feel most connected on a river or alone in a gym but I am learning to be just as open to the ways God comes to me as well, not just the ways I reach out.

Author: Chris Hill, Athletics