Covenant Throughout Ages

I’ve been living in Dallas for about 7 months now. Actually, I’ve been living in the United States for about 7 months as well. Although I was born in Dallas, I grew up in the Philippines. I studied and graduated from both a Jesuit high school and university.

My first decade of teaching was back at my own high school. I loved my school, the Jesuit, teachers, students and enjoyed many memorable experiences there. But at one point, I thought about trying something different, perhaps try to experience new things. That was when I decided to move to Jiaxing, China. I taught at the international division of a private school for two years.

Moving anywhere, whether from home to college, house to apartment (or vice-versa), state to another state, and especially country to new country, would always confront us with challenges and difficulties. There’s all the paperwork that needs to get done. There’s the packing and making sure you have the essentials. When I arrived in China, it took some time to understand the daily life and the way things are done in a small Chinese city. I spoke a bit of Mandarin, yet still faced an imposing language barrier. I neither knew anyone nor had immediate family in China.

I remember the first night I spent in China, when reality finally dawned on me that I’m living in a totally different and foreign place, I was flooded with so much emotions. I began questioning why I left home; if it was the right decision. In the days that followed, I sorely missed my family and friends in the Philippines. I wondered if I’m capable of living abroad and getting out of my comfort zones. I wondered if I will meet expectations at work and if I would be alright?

Praying today’s First Reading, God offers Abraham the assurance of all the good things to come, so long as he remains faithful --- “I will maintain my covenant between me and you and your descendants after you throughout the ages as an everlasting covenant, to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.” (Gen.17:7)

The passage reminded me of what got me through these moments of self-doubt --- prayer and time. In prayer, I offered these fears and uncertainty to God. I trusted God and in time, God responded through the reassuring love of my family, the support of my colleagues and the friendship of my students. With prayer and time, I slowly overcame my worries and became more accepting of my decision and unfolding experiences. I needed to trust God so I can trust myself.

Amidst the fears, self-doubt and uncertainties, nothing is more simple as to trust in God’s assurance (or reassurance), that we will prevail. It is also not just about us trusting God, but also letting God trust in us. Abraham was ninety-nine years old, yet God continues to trusts him with His covenant. God trusts in our decisions, powers and capabilities.

After two years in China, I’ve made the decision to move again. This time to Dallas to be closer to my family who live here. Once again, I will experience new things, adjustments and challenges, but with the added consolation of trusting God; a God who loves and trusts me.

Author: Kenneth Gan, Theology Department