Do Not Be Afraid

“Angry, then sad, then angry, then sad again,” my daughter murmured through gritted teeth as she tried to communicate the roller coaster of emotions that wouldn’t let her fall asleep. She is a child who likes to have control, or who at least wants to know what the plan is for tomorrow. Clearly her parents hadn’t created a very precise schedule for the day.

The readings on this Holy Saturday remind me that life is filled with moments of darkness. The “formless wasteland” seems a bit more tangible than it did four weeks ago, but when I read through Genesis and Matthew I am comforted. God’s recipe for hope seems very accessible. In each of these tumultuous moments, God intervenes by creating order and routine.

In fact the entire creation story is an organization of elements: day and night, water and sky. It is done before Adam and Eve are created. And as a parent this makes complete sense; I remember my nesting instinct being strong as the due date of our daughters approached. How could anyone bring a child into the world where the bumper didn’t match the rocking chair throw pillow? Organization was the way I coped with the scary uncertainty of parenting. It gave me a small sense of control.

The story of The Sacrifice of Isaac begins with Abraham in a place of desolation, if not in a deep schizophrenic episode. But after three confusing days of introspection and prayer God delivers rules and order to the scene, going so far as to offer a sacrificial ram for the holocaust in place of Isaac. (Gheberti’s relief offers a haunting illustration of the scene.)

And then there is the unimaginable sadness of the disciples. On that first Holy Saturday they must have faced a disorienting threshold as the death of their friend made them leaderless and directionless. But Jesus’ announcement to his mother and Mary Magdalene was delivered in the form of reassurance and instruction: “Do not be afraid. Go tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

As my wife and I try to shepherd our ten and eight year children through this “shelter-in-place” experience we find that our first instinct is to create structure for them (and for ourselves).  One day, during “Arts and Crafts” dad taught a watercolor lesson. This was my painting. It is an image of the order that has emerged from our chaos: shoes for yard work, a game of catch, sidewalk chalk, a child’s dowel and string creation.  Through prayer, hope, and practice we have established something good and reliable and holy. 

Some days we still forget to schedule math homework, but as Lent draws to a close, we feel more and more confident whispering in the dark of night, “Do not be angry.  Do not be sad. Do not be afraid.”

Author: David Williams, Art Department