We may not see it, but God is smiling at us.

For our sake he made him to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him. 2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2

God uses big gestures to show us how God feels about us.

I learned a long time ago that I sometimes need to tell adolescents what my mood is.  I learned this from a study where adolescents were shown pictures of adult faces and asked to identify the adult’s mood based solely on his or her facial expression.  By and large, younger people tend to categorize adults’ moods in one of two ways: Happy or Angry.  This is important to remember when dealing with a student, because there are times when I am simply tired or exasperated, or confused, and the young person I am working with perceives it as if I am angry with him.  When that happens, the student is immediately put back on his heels - his fight-of-flight reflex kicks in, and constructive conversation becomes so much more difficult.  

I’ve learned to say, “I’m not mad at you, but I’m confused and need you to please help me understand,” or, “I’m not mad at you, but I am concerned about your wellbeing and that’s why I look this way.”  It was very difficult for me at first, as I  wasn’t one to broadcast my emotions, but I did eventually learn it a few years into my teaching career.  When I finally internalized this understanding, my job became much easier, and my interactions with my students took on a depth that they hadn’t previously had before.  

I’ve thought about this more than once since the pandemic began.  Wearing a mask that covers half of my face and interacting with masked people day in and day out for the last year has challenged my adult ability to read peoples’ expressions.  It has also made my own expressions that much harder to read.  I’ve caught myself saying, “You can’t see it, but I’m smiling under my mask right now.” or, “I don’t know if you can tell but I’m upset right now and need your help.”  Every time I do this I’m reminded that we don’t always know what someone else is feeling or thinking, but that we are also very quick to make assumptions based on external cues.  And also that these assumptions are often inaccurate. 

Don’t we all need this as a reminder?  Are there times when we feel that God is angry at us? That the cards are stacked against us Or that we are all alone in some difficult endeavor?  The truth is that we are not alone.  “For gracious and merciful is he, slow to anger, rich in kindness, and relenting in punishment.”  Even as adults we have to be reminded.  We might not be able to see it, but God is smiling on us.  When we might think he is angry at us, He is really concerned for us.  We don’t need to be put back on our heels in our relationship with God,  but instead let down our guard and let Him into our hearts. 

Author: Tom Garrison '92, Principal