Courage and cheer!

I must admit that these readings for difficult for me. And, that mine was emailed the night before. However, a couple of lines from the Gospel stood out. “For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen.”

First question that I considered: Why these lines over the rest of the readings? Simple answer is that they reminded me of me. Now the more difficult question: Why do these remind me of me? Then it hit me. My oldest turns 14 on the Ides of March! So, bear with me as I tackle why I think these lines jumped out at me.

“For they preach but they do not practice.” Wow. Right off I feel like I’m being called out. Specifically, I’m being called out as a parent. To start it is quite comical what I don’t let my kiddos do as a parent that I did all the time at their age. Would love to blame my parents for not being strict enough, but I know that’s not true. Okay, maybe slightly true. Although, if I dig deeper what I find is my patience that runs thin with getting their schoolwork done and not being organized enough. If anyone has seen my office, they will immediately notice an office organized by an adult that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. And even before that I already saw similar organization skills from my oldest. What I was really doing was trying to help them be better. Or, if I’m honest, to not be like me. I love to preach; unfortunately, it’s towards a practice that they truly are not capable of, or a practice that I’m not capable to follow.

Going to skip to the last line, “all their works are performed to be seen.” Classic parenting. This is one of those things that I saw my parents do and my friends parents saw their parents do, and we vowed to never do this with our kiddos. We become stricter in front of other parents. I know I’ve done it and I honestly don’t understand why. To be generous I’d say that when other parents around it helps me, parents in general, rise to the occasion of “better practices” in parenting. I wish it were true. Honest answer is parents don’t like to look like a bad parent in front of other parents. Is this a constant occurrence? Thankfully no. Nevertheless, it happens.

Last line, “they tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them.” My hunch is reader, you can probably see where I’m going with this one. As parents we place heavy burdens on our kiddos. Actually, I don’t think that’s the case. We place heavy burdens on ourselves. The so-called best of us, and the so-called worst of us. All of us do it with something. That’s okay. When it’s someone we love we naturally want what best for them. This is a heavy burden to carry. I think we do “lay [that burden] on people’s shoulders,” and “not lift a finger to move them.” Here is where people, completely including myself, is so sure they know what’s best that they feel if they just find the way to motivate their kiddo, or students, they will be better off. With all the mental health issues my kiddos have had, especially my oldest, I’ve learned that if I don’t genuinely consider who they are and who they are becoming then my “burden [becomes] hard[er] to carry.” The more I dig in the more I, “will be humbled.”

A mantra, so to speak, that I picked up from my uncle is “Courage and Cheer!” For both of us it’s a call out into darkness and a reminder to face what is to come with courage and to do so cheerfully because in the end all will be well, Thanks be to God. In the context of these lines, it’s a memento that, “whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

Author: Jude Harrington, Theology Department