True Self & False Self

Today’s reading calls to mind the first lesson our Sophomore students take in Theology. We open the year by reading about Thomas Merton’s idea (through James Martin’s book, “Becoming Who You Are”) of the true and false self. We specifically begin with this lesson since it connects well to the theme of discipleship, but also because it’s particularly meaningful at this stage in the life of our students.

Merton defines the true self as “the person we are before God and the person we are meant to be.” In contrast, the false self is “the person we wish to present to the world, and the person we want the whole world to revolve around.” The difference between the two selves is pretty straightforward. We are most true when we are in relationship with God, but we are our false self if we displace God as the center of our lives. Which self we live out or become is entirely up to us.

In the first reading, Moses lays out two similar paths — either choose life and prosperity by loving and following God, or death and doom, if we turn away from God. Both Moses and Merton instruct us to choose God, so we know and become our true self, along with all the joys and fulfillment of our meaning in life.

As with most things, it’s easier said than done. Merton, in becoming a priest, talks about the difficulty of letting go of his false self. We know that we love God, but many of us may have spent our whole lives creating and living a self-centered life, as opposed to one centered on God. Most of us prefer to listen and live up to others, then to live up to God. The more we do this, perhaps subconsciously, our false self becomes more embedded in our being, which is why it’s hard, and sometimes painful to give it up.

At this point, some of my students can get disheartened when hearing of the difficulty of becoming their true selves. So we talk about being a disciple of Christ, and in the Gospel, Christ tells us “if anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” The call to become our true self is always present, it’s not easy and we definitely will suffer for it, but it is a necessary choice. After all, Christ himself suffered for being his true self — loving and following the Father.

This Lent, let us take time to reflect on our self — how have we been a false self so that we can better know how to become our true self? What distracts us from God so we can offer these bits and pieces of our false self? Again, it’s going to be hard to face some truths, but we are consoled by the fact that every time we choose life, God — to be our true self, we walk with Christ and give meaning to our sacrifice and suffering.

Author: Kenneth Gan, Theology and Campus Ministry