Time for Solitude

Last Thursday at Jesuit was a very full day. I exhaled as I walked out the door at 5:00 and headed to my car, and I realized that through the day, there was not a single minute where I was by myself. Normally my office is a gathering place for students, but on that day, both my geometry students and my algebra II students were preparing for a test, so there were constantly groups of students in my office. Every moment was full of life and discussion and energy and struggle and learning. I considered this as I walked to my car and pulled up the readings for this Sunday, as my mind moved on to its next “to do”. Seven minutes later, I picked up my 5 year old from school and drove home to stories of the day and the Encanto soundtrack. After my two year old and five year old were asleep, I had a chance to go back to those readings that I had pulled up on my phone earlier. When I read the story of Jesus in the desert, all I could see was his solitude. Forty days of solitude.

I believe that I am called to a faith of action, and it is that part of my faith that I am comfortable with. I find God through my connections with others. God is alive in the energy and love that I share with my students and with my family. My prayer life is a culmination of all these tiny moments where I see God in my relationships and my day to day. And all of that is good. But when I read about Jesus alone in the desert, I was reminded that God’s plan for us cannot be fully realized unless we take the time to stop and listen. Jesus certainly had a lot of work to do as he prepared to begin his ministry. But instead of diving right into it, he spent forty days in prayer. He emerged with fortitude, with angels by his side, ready to do God’s will, and likely with more clarity about how God wanted him to proceed.

For the past few years, I’m afraid that I just keep diving right into it. This Lent, I am inspired to seek my own solitude. I’m inspired to pray in the quiet, instead of only amidst the chaos. I hope that Lent can offer me my own retreat in the desert, where I can close my eyes, and just listen to how God wants to deepen God’ life in me. This Lent, it is time to stop. It is time to contemplate. It is time for solitude. The action will follow.

Author: Tricia Gerber, Math Department