Lessons in and of Forgiveness

This week my daughter had her first reconciliation. I wasn’t there for the reconciliation but I was there when she wanted to do a practice run. This was a big deal at our house. She was very nervous and brought her game face to practice. Step one was teaching her how to even say the word: recon - silly - a - shun. That didn’t take too long except her two seven year old brothers chimed in along with Dad, so we fell behind.

Step two was where we started helping her to think of her sins to tell Father. This was the interesting part of the practice. The line in today’s reading “All those who were my friends are on the watch for any misstep of mine” is what jumped out at me: all of a sudden, it turned into a bit of a family activity to come up with everything she had done wrong recently that she could “tell to God.” While we weren’t joking about it, it became an innocently honest conversation about everything she has been up to with her friends and brothers. As we listed off her sins, there were no lectures or punishments (there was a little bit of judgment but mainly directed at myself as the majority of this happened on my “watch”). She would say something and my wife would ask her why it was a sin, did she learn anything, or how can she be better. The “act” of reconciliation is to seek forgiveness from God but our “practice” of reconciliation turned out to be feeling forgiveness and support from your loved ones over the mistakes you have made. 

I’m not sure there is a more useful practice than to learn how to recognize and grow from your mistakes. For kids to know they aren’t perfect, especially in today's culture, can’t start early enough… Truth be told, had some of these confessions my daughter made come to light in a different context, perhaps I found out about it from someone else in stead of her, there may have been a lecture from me instead of me listening to the conversation my wife had about how to learn from it, which is a much better way to handle it. Turns out I probably learned more than she did.

Author: Chris Hill, Head Basketball Coach