An Invitation to Vulnerability

I was recently fortunate to have the opportunity to sit in on a group meeting with our ‘Godly Guys’, a group of young men who meet weekly to discuss topics related to their faith lives. We have similar groups at each of the other three grade levels, but in this case, it was a room full of juniors. During this meeting, a faculty member spoke to them for 15 minutes on the topic of dealing with rejection and doubt. It was telling to me that the 15 young men in attendance hung on his every word for the duration of his talk. The young men in this room are leaders in our school and, by all accounts, they are students who have it together - they are conscientious, confident, and motivated young men, and their peers look to them as competent students and leaders. So why were they so interested in a talk about rejection and disappointment? I think it is because they have created a space among this group of classmates where it is alright to talk about the feelings and emotions at the heart of their experiences as teenagers, and that is in large part thanks to the faculty members who have helped them find one another and start these peer groups.

I think that even the most talented and accomplished among us have moments where we fear rejection or disappointment. The adults among us have more tools to deal with these feelings than adolescents, and that is why I think it was so important for an adult to take the time to share his story with this group of young people. This is a faculty member who the boys respect and admire, and, seeing that they were in need of some reassurance, he shared experiences from some of the more vulnerable periods of his life. In doing so, he gave these young men permission to admit to similar feelings. This teacher has walked the path before his students, and he was sharing lessons learned that they simply would not be able to find in a text book. It is a process that I’ve seen played out countless times while at Jesuit - an interested and compassionate adult meets the students where they are, then leads them to some new place by sharing information or life-advice they need to move through some challenge. It’s difficult to measure on a standardized test, but it is invaluable to our students as they seek to formulate their own personal responses to the challenges that life brings them every day. I am grateful to these teachers for sharing their vulnerabilities with these young men, as it reinforces the idea that we have to overcome our weaknesses before we can fully understand, appreciate, and capitalize on our strengths.

This is how it is with Christ as well. He walked an impossible path so that we would benefit. He experienced suffering that could only be felt if He were to descend to our human level. He chose to offer that experience for us so that we might pass through that suffering into an eternal life with him. That is my thought as we begin the Lenten season on this Ash Wednesday. Many of us will go to church and receive ashes, and it is my prayer that these ashes are a reminder that somebody walked before us, giving us an opportunity to walk before someone else. My invitation to you is that you look for opportunities to share your experiences with someone who would benefit from them. Seek out that moment when you see someone puzzling through something with which you have also struggled, note that feeling, and then instead of suppressing it, share it and offer it to that person. There is a bit of risk inherent in this; what if that person doesn’t want to hear it? What if that person thinks I am being condescending? What if that person is too distracted by the pain or discomfort to accept what I have to offer? There is no way to know without putting oneself out there to the unknown, but I’ll posit that it is not really unknown. The Lenten season is an opportunity to reexamine our faith lives and to reaffirm our faith in Christ; Christ who has already given us the example. All we have to do is make the choice to follow.

Author: Tom Garrison, Principal