When in Doubt

Today’s Gospel reading from Luke presents the event when the angel Gabriel informed the virgin Mary that she would bear a son. I’m going to go in English teacher mode right off of the bat here. Let’s look at the juxtaposition between Gabriel’s first words to Mary and her immediate reaction. Gabriel offers words that we are all familiar with now as good Catholics: “Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.” These are words that we now normally find comforting and say in prayer in supplication to Mary. In that prayer, we confirm Gabriel’s words and confirm our own faith that Mary is truly blessed before we ask for her blessing. What an assuring thing to hear from a messenger sent by God, right? “The Lord is with you.”

However, I almost laugh at this Gospel reading because Mary is completely humanized here, completely vulnerable and understandably frightened. After Gabriel’s opening message, the Gospel reads, “But she was greatly troubled what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.” Her “troubled” reaction almost seems out of place to us after Gabriel’s line, given that we now associate his words with such goodness and as a testament to her holiness. But I try to see the scene through Mary’s perspective - she’s looking at an angel! The angel is about to give her a huge responsibility! I would be freaking out too! Even when Gabriel goes into further detail about the whole-bearing-the-son-of-God thing, Mary still doesn’t meekly accept her task; she questions Gabriel about the issue of her virginity: “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?” I really enjoyed this Gospel because it gives us a version of Mary at one of her most human moments, one with only glimpses into to her future full status as the holy Mother of God. It’s a reminder that she did not immediately accept her new responsibility wholeheartedly; she had momentary doubts, fear, and very understandable questions!

After I finish this blog post, I’m going to go hang things on the wall in the nursery that my wife and I are preparing for our daughter, who will be born next month. It is a time of great excitement and preparation, but also one of apprehension. I totally get Mary here - wait, am I ready for this? Can I have a little more time to prepare? It’s a little hard to comprehend how much our lives will change once she’s actually here. But, I am comforted and inspired the place Mary reaches by the end of today’s reading: “Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” She demonstrates a complete trust in God and a willingness to demonstrate his love through her own life and acceptance of this responsibility. In these hectic next few weeks, I hope to find moments where I can reach Mary’s example of quiet trust in God.

Author: Chris Patterson, Theatre Department