Getting Out of Our Own Way

Throughout the Gospel of John, we encounter the wondrous miracles that reveal Christ’s true and lasting deity. Christ’s miracles embody physical, tangible evidence that Christ is not simply a man; he is the eternal Son of God, the incarnation of the divine. Despite the concrete proof of Christ’s miracles, we find in today’s gospel the religious leaders’ early groundwork to plan and ultimately kill Jesus.

One excerpt from the gospel that captivated my heart reads: So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said, “What are we going to do since this man does many signs? If we let Him continue in this way, everyone will believe in Him!” Even when confronted with definitive, incontestable evidence of the abundant power of Christ’s divinity, eyewitnesses chose not to believe. These eyewitnesses remained prideful, unwavering in their unbelief, their hearts hardened to the beauty and truth manifested before them. Their pride did not end in their unbelief. It festered and grew into murder. Pride grows in the darkness of our hearts.

When left unchecked, pride can become a destructive tool that robs us from seeking and living out the truth, beauty, and goodness embodied by Christ. Pride is antithetical to a life rooted in Christ because pride is predicated on a life focused on one’s personal glory and ambition. I wrestle with pride every day at Jesuit and stumble on questions that sever my heart from Christ’s. Do I belong here at Jesuit? Am I an effective instructor? Do my students like me? Do my colleagues like me? How do people perceive me? Am I making a difference in the lives of my students and those around me?

These questions with which I grapple are not necessarily wrong but they are misconstrued. The questions are entirely focused on me. They’re focused on my perception. They’re centered on my temporary status. They expose my ego. The most destructive aspect of pride is that it narrows our perspective and blinds us to the living wonders in front of us. Much like the eyewitnesses in today’s gospel, I struggle to see what stands before me because I am often far too focused on me.

When I hit the pause button, take a step back from the daily chaos of Jesuit, and choose to see God’s beauty in my life from an elevated perspective, something happens. I witness tangible expressions of God’s love. I see Mr. Brndjar greeting his students outside his classroom door with joy and excitement. I see Mrs. Gerber patiently answering a student’s question after class. I see Mr. Gan working tirelessly behind the scenes to plan and execute another prayer service. I notice others and their work, not just me and my work. Unlike the eyewitnesses from today’s reading, let’s make a choice to get out of our own way and witness Christ through and with others. Let’s not make things about us. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to reconfigure our hearts. By being intentional in this approach, we will make steady and meaningful strides in living out our shared mission of becoming men and women for and with others.

Author: Brian Goll, English Department