Building a Fruitful Kingdom

“The Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit.” Ouch - that stings.

My perfectionism and fear of inadequacy has caused me to procrastinate in writing this reflection. Each time I come to today’s Gospel reading, I eventually leave it behind hoping that the next time I visit it, something “better” will come to me - something I would be confident produces enough fruit (and that others would recognize as fruitful).

While I am ashamed to admit my misaligned desires, I believe this is part of what Lent is all about - a chance to realign myself with God. I know that I personally struggle with a strange dichotomy of pridefulness and self doubt. My struggles are so deeply intertwined with today’s Gospel. In rejecting myself - my insights, my intelligence, my faith, my ability to produce a fruitful Lenten blog post - I am rejecting God. How often do I ignore, deny, or reject my own gifts in favor of trying to acquire someone else’s inheritance? (And what a slap in the face to God!)

The same could be said for how I reject others. For example, I often get frustrated when I feel like members of the Church are being exclusive, and I can be quick to mentally label these members as “pharisees.” My pridefulness no doubt shines through here, but the other shoe drops when I notice I am displaying the same judgment I am critical of the so-called Pharisees for. I am judging them for what I see as them judging others. And the cycle of judgment and counter-judgement continues.

At the end of the day, we are called to accept Jesus - the cornerstone. Just how we accept Him is easier to say and harder to do. I believe we accept Jesus when we accept ourselves and others - when we truly love ourselves and love others - when we can acknowledge and own the gifts that Christ gave us and others rather than labeling ourselves and others. I try to love others as Christ loves us. I try to love myself as Christ loves me. I think this is how we build a fruitful Kingdom.

Again - easier said than done. Just in case someone else may benefit, below are a list of practical ways I intend to accept and love myself and others throughout this season of Lent:

• Daily self affirmations - I am loved, I am enough
• List my personal gifts
• Ask for help when I need it
• Listen more than I talk/judge
• Ask questions to those I disagree with
• List some things I admire in someone who frustrates me

Author: Katie Johnson, Theology Department